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dynamite with a laser beam

So...I accidentally a full-time job.

As a children's librarian.

In my hometown.

You know that image of Freddie Mercury with one fist raised in triumph? (Here.) That's me right now.

Although I'm singing "Killer Queen" instead of "We Are the Champions," because I like it better.

i had to think awhile

My life has been pretty boring of late, so here is a picture of me with turquoise hair.

Teal, dear.Collapse )

(One day I will take a picture without glasses-glare. This is clearly not that day.)


said nobody is supposed to know

I have been temporarily farmed out to a library that is even smaller and even quieter than my own. They get busy after school, because they're across the street from the middle school, but until three o'clock? It's like a tomb in there.

Tomorrow is the last full day I'm spending there, and that is where you all come in.

Give me prompts. Pleeeeease. I will write drabbles and post them after work. Just give me a word or a phrase, and a fandom or pairing if you want. Pretty much anything I've written in is fair game, plus White Collar (I haven't finished anything yet) and Game of Thrones (OMFG you guys, Sean Bean).

I say drabbles, of course, but we all know what Fanfic Flamingo says about that.

(Also writing fic distracts me from Anxiety Issues III: Revenge of the Angst. I really wish this shit would just go away, but noooo.)
So last week I did story-time with my kids. We made zebras by putting white horse cutouts in a pan and rolling around some marbles dipped in black paint. One mother liked the alligator song so much that she asked me for a print-out so that she could sing it with her kids later!

And then at the end of story time, I gave the kids a choice. I told them that it was time to change my purple hair, and I would do it for our last story-time. I asked them if they wanted red, blue, or pink.

And the winner was...Collapse )

Let's just hope the kids don't expect me to do this stuff every week. :P
Bought Red Glove yesterday at 3pm.

Finished Red Glove this morning at 4am.

Guyyyys, Holly Black is awesome and you should be reading these books. The first one is called White Cat.

And now I am going to wax giddy about the system of magic in these books, because I just think it's the coolest damn thing ever.

The story is set in roughly the modern day, but some people are able to work magic--hence the term "workers." There are seven skills: Luck, physical, dreams, memory, emotion, death, and transformation. A luck worker can give someone else good luck, but the worker suffers from "blowback"--they get bad luck. You affect someone's dreams, and you have nightmares. You work memories? It can cost you your own.

You can only work someone or something by touching it with your hands...so everyone in this world wears gloves. All the time. Cotton, vinyl, leather, it doesn't matter. Naked hands are more scandalous than any other body part. But all it takes is a pinprick in a glove, just enough to touch skin to skin, and somebody can work you. Make you love, make you dream, make you dead.

So curse workers are highly valued by crime families--there's a whole underground of people who can make or take your luck, make you hate someone, or, if you're causing trouble, they can just kill you. With a touch. Of course, it kills a part of them, too, but hey. You've got ten fingers, right? You don't need all of them...

Anyway. These books are really fantastic--in fact, I've yet to read something by Holly Black that isn't fantastic, so pick up Tithe too.

Obligatory Pros crossover ramble: Remember those black leather gloves in "Backtrack"? Yeah. I'm wondering what kind of workers the lads might be... Doyle is luck and Bodie is emotion, but Bodie doesn't tell him that, because it's very stigmatized, and then when Doyle figures it out he goes ballistic because seriously, how do you ever know that what you're feeling is real?

Crossovers: Srs bsnss.

This is what's on my mind at 4:00 in the morning: Where the HELL is all the fic where Neal from White Collar and Eames from Inception do crime and have sex and wear stupidly expensive suits? And Moz finds out about extraction/inception and starts wearing a tinfoil hat?

Bring me this fic, Internet. Bring it to me so that I do not have to write it.

o caritas

On the occasion of sineala's LJ anniversary, a miniature Latin Professionals fic, set in her amazing Miles Scortillusque universe.

Beta-read by classicguybrary, Classics major extraordinare. If there are any mistakes, they're mine, not his.

Amor Dormiens Cubat

Bellonus non obliviscitur belli, sed in hoc loco memoriae non eum terret. Cum expergiscitur, aspectus Deomiorigis apud eum sedat, et incubis superatis iterum dormire potest.

Sed hac nocte, Deomiorix non dormit. Voce leni inquit, "Me basies, Philippe."

Bellonus subridens obtemperat. Coeunt tenebris, et prima luce somniculosi sunt. Sed in Deomiorigis brachiis Bellonus situs est, et decernit somnum non esse talis magni momenti.

Partial glossaryCollapse )

TranslationCollapse )

ultraviolet is a wicked spell

In the words of a toddler who used to live next door, "Look what Sarah did!"

Picspam to dye forCollapse )

And the outtake...Collapse )

it was like a ticker-tape parade

So I guess I accidentally did that WIP meme that's going around--the crossover WIPs, at least. There's also a component that says you can ask for a snippet from one of the WIPs, so if any of these cracky things interest you, feel free to ask.

Also today at my library two teen patrons wrecked the teen area. Tore up a sign, threw puzzle pieces across the room--and all in complete silence, which is what surprises me.

DEAR LIBRARY IDIOTS: WE HAVE CAMERAS. You just earned yourself an obnoxious babysitter for the next time you come in. I think I'll shelf-read the graphic novels. And make a new YA display. And count all the pieces in those puzzles you threw around the room. All while sitting right there in the teen spot. Won't that be fun?!

I don't mind cleaning up the kids' area, because sometimes they're just too young to know better. If you're 15 years old and don't clean up after yourself, then you are officially a jackass.
Okay, sineala was talking about how fandom can pigeonhole you into one genre--like being the weird AU-and-crossover girl. So I figured now might be a good time for a full confession.

These are my Pros AUs and crossovers. All of the ones listed here have at least a thousand words on them--odds are, most of them will never be finished, but nevertheless, here they are. In descending order of relative completeness.

--Simple Twist of Fate: The Professionals/FlashForward
--Of Angels and Angles: Pros wing!fic.

In Progress:
--True Confessions of Raymond Doyle: Like The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, only not.
--Star Wars Pros: Bodie is Mandalorian, Doyle is a would-be Jedi. Together, they fight the Empire!
--Golden Compass Pros: Pros with daemons! Doyle's is a cheetah, Bodie's is a black wolf.
--Jack the Ripper Pros: Because Godley needs a Doyle, and every Pros fan has to write at least one rentboy!fic in their fandom life. :)
--Pride, Pros, and Zombies: Because the only thing more fun than Jane Austen + zombies is Jane Austen + Pros + zombies
--Hunger Games Pros: Doyle was born in the districts; Bodie's a Capitol brat. They do sex and join the revolution!
--Gay Youth Pros: What if Doyle really was a gay youth worker? And his boss made him hire someone for security?
--Twilight Pros: Exactly what it says on the tin--now with 100% less skeevy seventeen-year-old/centenarian romance!
--Harry Potter Pros: I keep poking at this, but seriously have you guys read sineala's Special Men? It doesn't get more awesome than that.
--Supernatural/Pros with Zombies: Time-traveling Winchester brothers, marauding zombies, and a whole hell of a lot of snark.
--James Bond Pros: Because dammit, Lewis Collins should have gotten to be Bond.
--Old West Pros: Homesteader Bodie advertises for a wife; there's a mistake at the newspaper, and he gets a Doyle instead.
--Steampunk Pros: You know you want to read this. I just don't know if I can actually write this.

Things that I talk about like I'm going to write them, and then I never do:
--Little Mermaid Pros: With Bodie as the merman, because apparently Doyle as merman has already been done. I love my crazy fandom.
--Pros/Lewis: Doyle irritates Hathaway by wearing jeans all the time! Lewis and Bodie make fun of their partners' hair! Sexytimes are had by all.
--Pros/White Collar: Neal and Doyle go undercover as lovers, much to the (unadmitted) jealousy of their respective partners.
--Wing!Fic sequel: I've got a vague idea, but the plot would be mostly The Platonic Adventures of Doyle and OFC, which...probably nobody would read.

...So, yeah. Hi, my name is Sarah, and I am an AU addict.

EDIT: I forgot about the Pros/Firefly crossover. Oops? :)

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